Happiness is the ultimate goal of every human being .It is a universal aspiration. Everybody craves for happiness. This is the level where distinctions between people on the basis of gender, race, religion, culture, and language—break down, we are all the same; this is our most fundamental reality. Everyone wants to live a happy and peaceful life. No one of us wish to suffer but only some people get to taste happiness throughout their lives .It is greatest of all wealth and riches.
No matter how much worldly possession we have accumulated but it cannot guarantee happiness and life satisfaction. The need for happiness is even most deeply felt in present era of stress and strain where life has become too hectic and busy; everyone is in a mad race. From riches to rags everyone is longing for happiness which can be defined as having meaning and satisfaction in life. It is about having peace of mind and contentment. Without happiness, life of a person is tasteless and he is prone to psycho somatic issues. The benefits of happiness extend far beyond merely “feeling good.”
Scientific studies have shown that happy people are healthier, with better immune functioning and less risk of cardiovascular diseases. There is even evidence that happy individuals live up to ten years longer than their less happy peers; besides happy people are more productive at work settings; they come up with creative ideas and enjoy the work. Since the research has shown that happiness is a choice; a cultivable goal which can be achieved with positive mindset and keeping in view the commendable need and importance of happiness in our lives; it is imperative to know the ways and means of happiness.
Key strategies
There are some key strategies that would fill our life with happiness in every circumstance. Some of them are:
Never compare yourself: In order to be happy we should never compare ourselves with those who are superior to us in looks, wealth and fame. Looking on superior gives us the feeling of awe and we get to feel that our life has nothing good to offer and we begin to feel disheartened and disappointed. Instead if we will Look on destitute ,orphans , disabled , we would realize that if we don’t have branded shoes to wear others don’t have feet to walk ;if we don’t have soft beds to sleep others don’t have bread to eat. This positive mindset would breed happiness and life satisfaction which are the key elements of well being. People with high well being are successful people in real sense. Success is not measured by wealth and fame but by the amount of happiness and peace which we feel in life.
Shun the unrealistic expectations. We should shun the unrealistic oughts and shoulds which we have set for ourselves and others; for instance; i should be loved by all, I should be successful in everything I do, my wishes should be taken as laws, i should get everything i want. These are the chief causes of our suffering because these are unrealistic expectations and these can only be achieved in dreams not in real life. Life is a matter of compromise. When we begin to accept and embrace this reality our sufferings lessen.
Perfectly love the imperfect you: we should love ourselves unconditionally. It means we should not set conditions of worth on ourselves. For example a person who feels that he is worthless just because he hasn’t been able to crack IAS exams is lowering his morale. People who love themselves unconditionally have high self esteem, confidence and optimism and good mental health which are very much important to thrive in life. They provide a shield to a person against stress and are immune to various psychopathologies like anxiety and depression.
Be optimistic: We should have a optimistic outlook and should search for opportunities even in adversities. We should be hopeful of better things and should feed ourselves with positive statements like good things are on way to come; sufferings, failures are momentary and in it are a lesson to be learned. It can be summed up in a statement, my efforts will pay off; a heart is like a child it believes everything we tell so we should always have hope for better outcomes.
Get your bond with the creator strengthened: We should spend some time in prayers, meditation, yoga or other religious activities. When we get connected to god we transcend above stress and strain of this life to the world of inner bliss ;which soothes the broken heart and tensed mind; for which every human being is craving in the world ruined by materialism. It has a cathartic effect.
A neurologist William Davison has found that People who mediate and spent time in religious practice have greater functioning in left prefrontal area of brain called*happiness region. When we develop faith in god we automatically begin to feel relaxed and less stressed; we start seeing the life through a new prism; we start believing that whatever god bestows us is best be it suffering or joy .Time stands testimony to the fact that god has helped messengers and other people who put their faith in him in miraculous ways. Every religion on earth teaches us to trust god and stronger the contact with god greater the bliss and lesser the stress and strain.
Be kind and compassionate Research has shown that when we help others we automatically feel happy. We feel good that we did something nice. When we help others, the focus of our mind assumes a broader horizon within which we are able to see our own petty problems in a more realistic proportion. What previously appeared to be daunting and unbearable, which is what often makes our problems so overwhelming, tends to lose its intensity.
Never let the past baggage ruin your present: We should not keep dwelling over past failures and disappointments .Past is a lesson not a punishment for whole life. Instead we should cherish the present moment and prepare for future. No amount of regret or lamenting can change the past and no amount of worrying can guarantee a successful future.
Don’t have lust for more and more. Lust for more destroys inner peace and ruins a man .This was beautifully highlighted by Leo Tolstoy in his story *How much land does a man need* where a character named Pahom in his lust for more and more land lost life and was finally buried in just a 6 inch grave. Nature has enough to fulfil our need but not enough to satiate our greed. Needs are limited but human desires are unlimited. We should live a life of contentment.
Don’t envy others: We should never feel envy if others are well off than us rather we should always try to be happy in what we have.
Don’t catastrophise negativities in life. We should not make trouble out of bubble. We should always remember that problems are part and parcel of life. Loss and gain are brothers twain. Problems are temporary. We should always count blessings which god has bestowed us.
Learn to let go and Move on: We should always forgive and forget. We should always learn to accept and embrace the reality.
Benefits of Happiness: The benefits of happiness extend far beyond merely “feeling good.” Scientific studies have shown that happiness leads to better mental health, greater resilience, and an increased capacity to deal with adversity and trauma which are the vital indicators of high well being. Happiness leads to greater creativity and improved mental functioning.
The benefits of happiness extend to the workplace, as well, with happy individuals performing better and enjoying greater personal success on every level, including higher income. This isn’t surprising considering that happy workers are more productive, more loyal to the company , take fewer sick days, show up to work more consistently, are creative , optimistic , intelligent , have fewer conflicts with co workers, quit their jobs less frequently, and generate greater customer satisfaction .Happy people are healthy, productive, optimist, creative, resilient and successful people. They have good social relationships and are less likely to engage in health risking behaviors like alcohol and smoking .They enjoy better psychophysical functioning.
“Be like a child who find joy in little things. Life has too much to offer provided we have right mindset. Happiness is a choice, a decision. Happiness is priceless but free. It just needs positive thinking and a thankful heart.”
Author is a research scholar in the Department of Psychology, University of Kashmir, Srinagar
sheikhbismafarooq@gmail.com